Friday, March 11, 2011

Being a Vampire's Wife

"BEING A VAMPIRE'S WIFE" - Shirley Elmokadem

Last week at school I met a guy
whose name was Edward Cullen,
I fell in love with him at once,
although he was pale and sullen.

He had the most gorgeous eyes
they set my heart a flutter,
he asked me to go out with  him.
I prayed he wasn’t a nutter.

He took me to a restaurant
that  stood beside a lake.
I ordered the fresh salmon,
he went for a rare  steak.

He didn’t want to eat dessert,
so we went back to his flat.
He didn’t try it on at all,
I was a bit put out at that.

He asked me to stay with him
and showed me to his bed.
He said he was born in 1901
I said, ‘Stop pulling my leg!’

I loved lying in his arms,
it felt so safe and right,
but then he said, ‘Sorry, Love
I like to go out at night.’

When he returned at dawn,
he was covered in blood and gore,
an icy chill shot down my spine
and I legged it out the door.

‘Wait!’ he said, ‘don’t leave me
I'm not going to give you a bite
I’m madly in love with you,
besides you’re not my blood type.’

Dear reader I'm marrying him!
I do like a challenge in life,
and I think that I, Bella, will make
a 'fangtastic' vampire's  wife. 

BIO: Shirley lives in Sussex. She writes books for children and poems for all ages. She has won various poetry and writing competitions and has had poems published in anthologies and magazines. Read more about her work here


  1. An interesting take on the romance that many fans of the 'Twilight' series take far too seriously. The rhyming of 'Cullen' with 'sullen' is ingenious and very appropriate.

  2. oh loved it! Very funny in a satiric way and on the 'normal' level too. Really liked this!

  3. Hahahahhaha!
    Nice one, stg

  4. 'Not his blood type.' Inspired line. I've never read Twilight but it's leaked into popular culture so much that I understood each reference and all had me laughing.

    Great stuff, but I do wonder if after they are married everything is just a bit boring after all that.

    'He placed a gentle kiss on each of my eye lids
    But I reminded him it was his turn to pick up the kids.
    So he shined like a comet with eyes as black as coal
    I asked him to stop at Tesco and buy some biscuits and toilet roll.'

  5. I'm not familiar with Twighlight, but I still enjoyed this. "and I legged it out the door." made me smile.

  6. Considering how much I dislike Twilight, I love this, made me smile. Nice one.

  7. Thumbs Up

    For a funny and fantastic Read Shirley

    Well Done